4Names1Blog
Random thoughts

Every time I leave Evansville I end up depressed for a good week. I like it here, but it’s not the same as being close to my family and all my good friends I grew up with. Plus, my brother is older now so we actually have a friendship instead of him just being my “little brother”. We actually really bonded and hung out a lot while I was home; it was awesome. I think that’s why I do much better here on the east coast; I throw myself into school and work to distract myself from the homesick feeling. It always goes away after a few weeks of being back, but that first week of leaving my family and friends behind again is always brutal.

Penn State: My thoughts

Where to start? Penn State. Happy Valley. How could this happen? I’m not going to delve into specifics on the actual case, if you want the allegations as they stand currently, I’ll just lead you to the Grand Jury report regarding Sandusky. http://nyti.ms/sCHJIn I just want to touch on the media circus regarding Paterno. Should the media have focused on Paterno as much as they have? No. Do I feel sorry for him? Not at all. The people who say he shouldn’t be held accountable because it was just a rumor? Bullshit. He got the statement from the eyewitness. I don’t care to what extent he “knew”, or how much detail McQueary did or did not go into. You are the law. Where the FACTS are, Joe Paterno was told that something inappropriate happened in the football locker room shower. Yes, he told the AD (which works for Joe Paterno. He’s only above him on paper), disregarding the fact he didn’t alert the authorities alone, the fact that he allowed Sandusky to still be visible around the program speaks volumes. The parties involved banned Sandusky from bringing children on campus, proving that they did have knowledge that something was going on. Yet, here he was for 9 more years essentially having free reign of the campus.

As a victim of sexual abuse when I was a child, this story pulls at my emotions more than I’d like. When I’m sitting and listening to what happened and how it could have easily been prevented, I cry. I can count on two hands the times I’ve cried in my entire life, but every time I listen to these reports I’m moved to tears. I think of my feelings, my resentment towards my parents for a long time for not being able to identify and prevent what happened to me. I think of how I would feel if someone knew what had happened to me, yet did nothing to stop it. When I think of all this, it makes me unable to feel any sympathy for what happens to Paterno and the rest of the administration who falls in the wake of this devastation. I acknowledge I’m biased, to the point where I can’t be objective no matter how much I’d like to be, but put yourself in my shoes or the shoes of one of those children. If there was someone who could have stopped what happened to me and the countless other children yet didn’t, and even worse, continued to welcome this man onto the campus and looked him in the eye (looking at you McQueary), you wouldn’t be enraged? I’m sorry I’m human.

I don’t think Joe Paterno is a bad person, he’s done more good in his lifetime than I can ever hope to aspire to duplicate, but when you make a mistake of this magnitude you have to be held accountable. I know people think that because of the media firestorm aimed at Paterno that we have forgotten who is the villain, but that just isn’t true. Sandusky will have his day in court, as will Curly and Schultz. I wish I could squeeze the life out of Sandusky with my bare hands, but his fate is with the legal system now. Paterno had to receive his repercussions; the fact that it would be so public was regrettable but unavoidable. There was no ideal way to fire Paterno, so the board of trustees moved swiftly to get it over with as soon as possible.

There is no easy way to deal with something like this. The ripple from what is going on here, the heartbreak and outrage, will be felt here for many years to come. Now that this whole issue with Paterno is done, hopefully we can begin to focus on Sandusky and the victims who won’t be able to forget this in a few years like everyone else will. These scars are ones that they will carry heavily for the rest of their life. There won’t be a day that goes by when they don’t think about it, I know that’s true for me. Joe Paterno is not the victim here, the children are. We failed them once; let’s not fail them again by taking more offense in a MAN’s firing than the unspeakable acts that they endured.

He’s one year old today. ^___^ (Taken with instagram)

He’s one year old today. ^___^ (Taken with instagram)

90 pounds since April. Philly Marathon training continues.  (Taken with instagram)

90 pounds since April. Philly Marathon training continues. (Taken with instagram)

I am the 1% (Taken with instagram)

I am the 1% (Taken with instagram)

Putting this bitch on a Christmas card (Taken with instagram)

Putting this bitch on a Christmas card (Taken with instagram)

Gorgeous day (Taken with instagram)

Gorgeous day (Taken with instagram)

Ellie Goulding - Lights (Bassnectar Dubstep Remix)

Dope

Awesome band from Japan I saw in concert. Best bass player I’ve ever seen. So good

Don’t fuck with us. Pup lyfe (Taken with instagram)

Don’t fuck with us. Pup lyfe (Taken with instagram)

Heaven  (Taken with instagram)

Heaven (Taken with instagram)

16 bars. literally.

Straight shots of the sterno plus
Wick stuck in the bottle empty
3 blocks to the target we light it and lob it hard at sentry
4 pigs of the oinking variety guard the market entry
5 minutes of flames and then aim the whistle my father lent me
6 o’clock we meet up and divvy the shells among the youngins
7 continents in the shit and smoke like its fuckin London
Just before they 8 up the funds our harmony love was bumpin
Now government issue 9’s are pointed where your blood is pumped in
Ten(d) to mop up these muttering zombies talker pieces
El’ll ven(t) on you harder than fukashima breezes
In the end when a dozen or so adjourn to reason
You’ll find the verdict return corrupted in murderous seasons
With inverted 31’s and other unlucky omens
That’s why I chug 7 and 7’s till I’m fuckin homeless
And every time you think my 15 minutes of fame are up
I spit another 16 and prove to the world I fuckin own it